Thursday, November 08, 2012

Waqt

What good is saving time if the saved time is not used for something constructive? Find it funny when people say this method saves time, that software saves time...One would think all this time saved by all these people would change something in their lives, others' lives. Not really. In fact, not at all.

On a tangent, the more time you save, the faster it seems to slip by.



Wednesday, November 07, 2012

How Do You Care 'Bro'?

I opened my facebook account today and the friends' feeds are flooded with congratulatory status updates about Obama's win. They are popping up by seconds. It's beyond my comprehension why so many Indians, especially those residing in India care about US presidential race. I don't remember people talking about our own polity with even hundredth of an interest.

Do we in general like competitions?
Do we like Obama and his politics? What about it? Why?
Is the US polity more entertaining than ours?
Is it a cool and an in thing to discuss US politics over coffee?
Do we believe in media dictating the issues that we must find interesting?

As long as US politics doesn't affect the world outside, these questions don't interest me, and so most of them have negative imperative for me. I find that the second-wise updates on news channels about the personal tragedy of a family in India whose kid has been kidnapped are more relevant than these US presidential travails. Moreover, I believe, whatever the reason, by talking non-stop about this, we are giving undue importance to the process that doesn't care much about us or about others. However, I am open to discussion coz there is a possibility that there exists some logical reason why so many of my peers, my close friends find it a topic worth discussing.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Restless

For the first time ever, I am absolutely bored of my work routine. It's easy to fathom why. Days, weeks and months pass by without doing anything else. There's no concept of fix working hours. There is no concept of a holiday. We work 16 or more hours a day, 30 days a month, 365 days a year. We might be in holiday resorts, we might be at home, whenever we are free, we work. They say and eventually you start believing them, that you need to do all this to remain at the top of your game. That you can not have longer gaps in your career. Your career will suffer. I want to ask them, who is at the wheel here? You are steering your career, or your career is steering you?

Life might be equally stressful in other disciplines. I have no clue about that. But I know that I chose this field for the joy of work. Over other important things that are usually instrumental in choosing a career. If the joy is missing, what's left in it for me ?

You also start thinking: Is this all there is to life? Work round the clock without having time for other things? Without time for personal things? Finer things? As often repeated as it is, you live only once. That too no one knows for how long. So, I have been thinking more and more of stepping away. To understand myself and what other things I am capable of apart from work. I love research but I hate the baggage that comes with it in the form of stagnation, boredom and tiredness.

Research is science, but research to a large extent is also a creative field, full of imagination and needs a rested and not a tired, bogged-down mind. The flight of novel ideas can not come from someone who has lost touch with the joy of creation.

Monday, October 22, 2012

The Hurt Locker

Why the fuck is it so difficult to talk about stuff that hurts you?

Probably coz one associates being less with being hurt.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Paper!

After a two year gestation period, the second paper will be out next week, first online, then in hard-copy format. It's being published in PNAS. Those in science will know what a big deal it is to be even entertained by PNAS. Being entertained is not enough coz then it undergoes reviews, re-reviews and the verdict of the chief editor and editorial committee. I was not sure till last week which way it's gonna go, but luck or some such stuff has tilted in our favour.

Among the papers PNAS publishes in each issue, it highlights a few that the editorial board thinks might be of special importance and/or special interest to the readers. Our paper has been shortlisted for that! It feels doubly awesome coz it means it fares well on the scale of academic as well as popular science. It's a double whammy for me and the co-author.

Six years' work has gone into this. Experiments went on for three years. I did my first experiment in March 2006 and the last one in April 2009. Simultaneously, I was analysing data, which is one of the most uncertain periods. You toy with a lot of stuff, don't really understand what's happening, and which one to choose (statistics in my opinion is like a departmental store where even the most ardent shopaholics will feel depressed by sheer number of options available). This went on for about a year. This was followed by writing the paper. The first draft of the paper was written in February 2010. We must have worked on at least 30-40 drafts of the manuscript. We submitted the final draft to PNAS in March 2012. After revisions, and re-revisions, we finally submitted it in July 2012.

I always get conscious about celebrating my victories. However this process has been hard and had more lows than highs. So I think I deserve it, and this feeling of entitlement makes me less careful about me projecting my happiness on to the world. I am hoping it makes you feel good about this too.

I want to be anonymous on this blog, so obviously I won't be posting the paper here. However, I will be glad to send a personal copy to whoever wants to read. Just leave a comment. If you want to deny me the pleasure of feeling important :) , you can search for it on the internet with my name.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Poetic Essence of My Scientific (and Very Dry) Thesis

The reason why we study seemingly obscure organisms and topics couldn't have been put more succinctly:

"But, for the point of wisdom,

I would choose to

Know the mind that stirs

Between the wings of

Bees and building wasps."

- George Eliot, The Spanish Gypsy

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Retribution and Forgiveness :)


The path to retribution has been glorified by many in the past. Lot of these DC and Marvel superheroes started out that way, didn’t they? A common man’s journey to being a superhero. But they are right! To feel wronged for thaaat long, you need to be a superhero. To tread the path of vengeance and continue feeling wronged for extended periods of time needs an unending source of energy, an unquestionable belief in others’ wrongdoings, and unadulterated self-pity without feeling stupid about it. Ordinary mortals like yours truly will feel bad maximum for a day or two and even that is stretching it, and then quickly revere in something less tiring, like say forgetfulness and lethargy. Which is not necessarily bad. Laziness and poor cognitive abilities marring the process of retribution is a good thing. It brings you a different kind of peace.

Every time I think about the reason why I would feel wronged in the first place, the answer that crops up is the same. Self-absorption. This need to be the cynosure of everyone’s eyes. That everyone should behave as if it’s a real treat to have me around. Who the hell do I think I am, eh? Obviously very few will give me that kind of importance and I am gonna feel let down eventually. But see that’s the problem, I understand all this on the cerebral level, but it doesn’t bloody penetrate deeper than that. The default doesn’t let me settle for anything less but to be at the top of everyone’s priority (even if they are not on mine). When someone jumps the queue ahead of me which happens quite frequently, it pisses me off. I rave and rant, neurons firing away to glory, and I come up with several solid impeccable parallel plans to avenge the insult (most of these things by the way happen at night coz that’s when my indolence allows me to wallow in all these luxuries). Usually by the time I am done with planning, I am exhausted, so I tend to sleep over it. And feel utterly useless about my plan the next day. One coz everything seems very trivial and manageable the next morning, but also coz I realise it’ll take some serious effort on my part if I want to continue feeling victimised. Better to call bygones be bygones, eh? It may not sound like an ideal combo, this trio of narcissism, bad memory and laze, but works every time.

Plus, in the end I like myself even more for my amazingly forgiving nature!


Monday, April 30, 2012

French Woes

Learning French. Such a pain in the ass. The language doesn't make any sense to me. It's spelt differently, pronounced differently. The worst part is when I speak, it doesn't even sound French! Sounds more like a hammer destroying a Monet painting. Bang bang bang!!!

Friday, March 09, 2012

Decade Long Friendships

Will soon be a decade that I left home for higher studies. Met some of the best people life could have brought me across; they found me agreeable too, and we forged friendships that continue to date. There could have been so many filters ensuring that I would not meet them...but things happened...direct promotion to the second grade, not failing a grade, not taking a year off after 12th, deciding to write the entrance, and then another entrance, getting admissions there...etc etc...Hate the word serendipity (coz of that dud of a movie), but it is that, isn't it? If I hadn't met these guys, would have met some others, but the known scores over the unknown in this case.

If you're reading this you buggers, let's have a get-together! Some of you would have no hair, and some would have saggy boobs, but c'mon no one gives a damn! All I care about is meeting you coz there's no one else quite like you!!!

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Addicted To Risks

I do not understand people with addictions. Would fully support them in getting rid of it, but without understanding. It's beyond reason to comprehend that one would continue doing something when one's aware (at least partly) of the repercussions. Carelessness. Laziness too? 

Now I know what a friend meant by saying, addictions are unethical. I was surprised then. Harmful yes, but unethical? That sounded like a new adjective. I get it now. It's unethical to not take care of yourself.

Every time a friend indulges in something potentially addictive, wanna punch them in the face and ask them to snap out of it. Puffing spirals of smoke, clinking glasses of liquor, blinking beady eyes in front of a computer, pressing heated up mobile phones against ears...these things have become so universal that they don't even seem to count.

Need to train myself how to tell people that all this is harmful, without sounding preachy. Or just learn to ignore.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Shadow of Your Faith

O Child,
I would like to walk in the shadow of your faith in me...

Young ones...They bring so much meaning to the life...

Friday, January 27, 2012

Corner & Displace Thy Enemy...

Reading an interesting but disturbing book on Palestine-Israel conflict. The book starts with a quick historical recap, with a focus on last 200 years. It's a recap of a region and a community that was ostracised for centuries, and which behaved more or less in an equally ruthless way when they came to power.

In early 1900's lands were bought from Arabs in Syria, Palestine and Turkey by questionable means, and once that was done, the focus was to make sure that the landless Arabs do not get employment opportunities...the whole objective was to displace the Arab peasants and farmers of the region. Such hatred, such spite...To think that people who were doing this were the same people who were racially discriminated by Russians till then. They were pushed to live on the periphery of Russian cities, and were denied prestigious professions. A few years later, what do they do? They plan strategic evacuation of some land for their own habitation! In Theodore Herzl's (one of the leading zionists) words, "We shall try to spirit the penniless population across the border by procuring employment for it in the transit countries, while denying it any employment in our own country...Both the process of expropriation and the the removal of the poor must be carried out discreetly and circumspectly."

Should any cause be worth so much hatred, so much spite? Worth enough to repeat the same mistakes that were inflicted upon the subject till a few decades back? Today, when Israel cries wolf, it sounds hollow.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

दिल तो बच्चा है जी!

By dad:

विशाल भारद्वाज की फिल्म इश्क़िया का गाना "दिल तो बच्चा है जी, थोडा कच्चा है जी" A से मिला है. रात के ग्यारह बजे हैं. pendrive  लगाकर सुन रहा हूँ. एक बार हुआ, दो बार हुआ, तीन बार...बहोत पसंद आया...

...विशाल की बात न्यारी है. आजकल कोई भी tragedy फिल्में बनाने की हिम्मत नहीं करता. उसमें वो हिम्मत है और ज़िन्दगी का ग़म-ओ-दर्द भी. गहराई है. महाभारत की grand, magnificent tragedy की तरह जीवन की विशाल गहराई और तरंगें दिखानेवाला. विशाल खालीपन, रीतापन, शून्य का एहसास! नियति के सामने विवशता. 

गीत सुनसुनकर लिख लिया...

...विशाल की सब फिल्में दुबारा देखनी हैं.


Monday, January 09, 2012

Circularity

There was a time when making new year resolutions was cliche...now, cliche are the folks who don't believe in resolutions...

PS. Makes you think if today's alternative is tomorrow's mainstream, doesn't it?

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Kindness vs Honesty

Thought of making a conscious decision of being more kind than to be truthful if a clash between the two should arise, especially while dealing with people who are close to me. One week into the roleplay, I am already frustrated as to keep up with my real and my assumed self. People have been hurt before too, but at least I was on my own side earlier. Now, every truthful statement brings with it hurt on the recipient's part, and a whirlwind guilt trip all on my own. As I see it, this resolution's not gonna last.

On a tangent, I was so certain in my school and college days, and have lately become more of a confused boy than I ever was. I will fit the bill perfectly for the real-life version of Benjamin Button. Happy 2012!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Social Change in Rural India: Entrepreneurship Workshops for Rural Women

An NGO whose work I vouch. Link to one of their recent activities.

Chetana - Vikas (Consciousness - Development): Entrepreneurship Workshops: After working for thirty three years with rural women, it is evident that financial dependency of women on men is one of the reasons why...

You could get additional information on Chetana Vikas here:

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chetana-Vikas/162861643736214

Blog: http://chetana-vikas-wardha.blogspot.com/

Official Website: http://www.chetanavikas.org/

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Friday, December 09, 2011

Toch Chandrama Nabhat

Recorded recently...





Sunday, December 04, 2011

On Darwin's Gift to Science and Religion

Darwin's Gift to Science and Religion seemed like a unique book as the author's background is extremely unique, and the concept of blending two completely opposite lines of thoughts, is what attracted me to this book (and I guess several others got attracted too, making this book into a bestseller).

It had an interesting start, but the later chapters failed to live upto the promise. So much could have been written on amalgamation of the two disciplines in the past by people like Mendel who were trained philosophers/theologists but carried out scientific experiments on evolutionary, genetic and natural phenomena; the growing distance and discord between the disciplines at present; Darwin's unique position in the scene, etc. But there's not much that's not been said already. Almost all of it has been said before, and in much eloquent words. I am not even going to mention the parts where he brings in creationism

In one of the few interesting pages of the book however, he talks about the general attitude of scientists. I am quoting here a few lines from the book, which I have come to believe for some time now, and have had interesting debates with friends and family, most of who are ardent scientists. Ayala says, "Science is a way of knowing, but it is not the only way. Knowledge also derives from other sources, such as common sense, artistic and religious experience, and philosophical reflection...In the Math of Sisyphus, the great French writer Albert Camus asserted that we learn more about ourselves and the world from a relaxed evening's perception of the starry heavens and scents of grass than from science's reductive ways...Astonishing to me is the assertion made by some scientists and others that there is no valid knowledge outside science. I respond with a witticism that I once heard from a friend: "In matters of value, meaning, and purpose, science has all the answers, except the interesting ones"...

I am borderline offended by some of his comments, but that's because his observations are correct. We as scientists are indirectly trained to practice my way or the highway philosophy towards people outside science. As open as we are to anyone from our own profession - even to those contradicting us - we are dramatically closed toward people from disciplines outside science. That is one aspect on which the book fares well, sometimes humorous, sometimes offensive, and mostly very correct in its observations on today's science practitioners. If you want to look at science through the eyes of a trained scientist who has spent considerable time outside science, this is a good book. And who knows, if you don't have as many expectations from the book as I did, and you are a beginner in the subject who hasn't read Dawkins, and other vehement authors, there's a chance you would like overall content of the book too.