Miscellanea

If you are interested in the journey, the road, the potholes and the wobbles, you would love Highway! While I was watching it, kept thinking that this has to be Imtiaz Ali's best film till now. I know a lot of people would look back fondly to Jab We Met as their favourite Imti movie, and it was indeed delightful (especially the first half) but for me this one works more. Cinamatography, sound, dialogues, acting, screenplay, direction, in fact everything apart from music and the last few minutes is as perfect as is directorially possible. Imtiaz bro, you rock for coming up with such an unusual movie on a relationship \m/ It's a much wholesome take on two people who are thrown together and feel something for each other...(some spoilers ahead) There's attraction, love, past and present baggage, fulfillment of absent father and mother figures and much more...Yeah, it's all these relationships-in-one...Everything is out there and yet barely tangible because of the deliberate vagueness with which their back stories, their inner turmoils and they themselves are presented to the viewers..
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It's amusing to answer the question, "what are your plans for the future?" I don't plan at all so I am not clear what lies ahead. It sounds absurdly blurry and directionless in today's world where every move is planned to the second...for next billion seconds. This unplanned life however, is delightful coz there is a scope for lot of spontaneity and freedom, however I am not this way for the thrill and joys that the spontaneity brings. It's just the way I am. If I need to, especially on the professional front, I can be a diligent planner and executioner...I don't understand this contradiction.

I always believed that life needs to be more than just a checklist of things to be finished every day and more multidimensional than procuring and checking a bunch of personal and professional bucket-lists. Just like being honest makes our present more simple, being spontaneous makes our present more continuous. As Sahir says,

इस पल के साये में, अपना ठिकाना है 
इस पल के आगे फिर, हर शय़ फ़साना है
कल किस ने देखा है, कल किस ने जाना है 
इस पल से पायेगा, जो तुझ को पाना है 
जीने वाले सोच ले, यही वक्त है कर ले, पूरी आरज़ू

People should realise that living in the moment can not be planned. I have realised that but haven't found a way of mouthing off this thought process without it sounding like a long-winding sales spiel justifying my life's apparent lack of direction, so I shrug and say, 'who has time for future!' and hope that the inquirer has forgotten the question in the wake of the laughter that follows.
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A very weird thing happened recently. A grant proposal for early-career researchers to submit their proposals to be considered for a postdoctoral fellowship was making rounds on various mail lists. Apparently, the call as well as the people advertising this were found to be phony. How would they benefit from such a phony grant call? It's an ingenious way of plagiarism of ideas. All young postdocs and faculties are either racking their brains, or having raked enough have come up with a new and brilliant idea (so we think) are now safeguarding it so that we are the first ones to do it. We have to let go of our best ideas while submitting grant proposals, taking a leap of faith that they will not be leaked and used by others working in the field. But a phony call like this will immediately give the recipient a bank of 50 or 100 new ideas from all over the world in the subject of desire. It's a very good and timely wake-up call to check people's credentials before discussing ideas with them.
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Taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone is an oft-preached, rarely practised philosophy. Working with people who are dissimilar to you, in a place about which you don't know much, in a discipline you are not an expert of, is an essential part of growth and development. Professionally, sometimes we don't have control on our work areas and topics since experts are preferred, but we have a lot of say in where and with whom we work. One reason why India is on rise is that as a society we are ready to fill niches that are left vacant by people and societies that are very particular about the kind of opportunities they want to use, where they want to do it and with whom. We are extremely flexible and better still, adaptive of new things, which is an awesome quality to possess.
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A beautiful lost song to relish:

Chaand Madhdham Hai: Railway Platform (1955)/Lata/Madan Mohan/Sahir

Piya Tose Naina Laage Re

Extended version of Piya Tose Naina Laage Re from Guide...Some completely new stanzas!!

Happy New Year...and More

Wish you all a very happy 2014!

This was in Athens. You could see the Acropolis in the bottom left corner :)

For me, I wish it is as eventful as 2013 has been. I got rid of a lot of unnecessary thoughts and habits that I was carrying around, I gained a lot of understanding about myself, my profession, but most importantly, I gained a somewhat more fleshed out idea of life. The kind I want, and the kind I would not want. I realised what and who are my priorities in life. I can't even begin to jot down the multitudes of thoughts and events that shaped me in this year. It is overwhelming. The point is, good and bad, it was never dull, the year has been a happening one, and I wish 2014 is as good if not better.
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Since I will be leaving soon, my mentor came and talked to me at length about how I enriched his lab. I was basking in all the attention I was getting coz there was hardly any in the past year. Just to be sure that it wasn't all staged and rehearsed and repeated to everyone who leaves the lab, I asked him what was so special. I don't need to repeat all that he said because it will be bragging about myself :) Yeah, it was mostly good! I also asked him what could be improved, since people hardly give any critique these days.

One thing every postdoc wants is to create an impression. Our times are fleeting and apart from the urge to be remembered, we depend on these impressions a great deal in our careers. Asking some masked and some blunt questions to gauge the truth of his remarks, they seemed very believable. I was highly satisfied with myself and also got some tips about areas where I could improve. It's good to feel content and laidback once in while. Also, hearing these things about myself was very important to understand that I am not as hopeless or as great as my mind makes me believe sometimes.
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I suffered from the 'imposter syndrome'. Last time it happened was almost a decade back while I was starting PhD. When you start thinking less of yourself in spite of all the great things happening to you. You think you don't deserve them, it just happened to be you, and that it could have been anyone else. That's what we call an imposter syndrome. Well, there's nothing more humbling than that, but if you feel that on a daily basis, it is a great killer of your self-worth and self-esteem. On the other hand, feeling like an imposter can work wonders professionally since you tend to overwork and push your boundaries. Which is what happened to me I believe. I worked very hard past one year, and it didn't go unnoticed.
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On a tangent, a little bit about ethics of science. Lot of scientists believe that it's okay to exercise gratification of the knowledge buds that we so tastefully cultivate and pursue all our lives. That sometimes it should be reigned is a concept agreed upon in theory, but difficult to internalise and easily forgotten in practice (common examples would be cloning or biotechnological interventions in day-to-day lives, and there are a plethora of such scientific issues which we know could be dangerous and are yet pursued...then there are those which are fuzzy and the fuzziness and lack of clarity about their repercussions makes them easier to pursue, but could be dangerous nevertheless). Everyone has some dichotomy in their lives where they sacrifice ideals for practical issues. But if we sheepishly agree that it's a compromise why even venture in that direction? I will never ever do science for personal gratification that has adverse costs for humanity. Even if the percentage of cost is minuscule, I will not do it.
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I want to hear more, talk less and talk only when asked something. Various reasons: 1. There was a stage when I had to speak to feel important. It was a way of asserting myself on the scene. I don't feel that need anymore. I believe now I already feel important enough not to resort to such extraneous things. 2. While I am talking, I can become the third person and observe myself talking, and it is definitely not as interesting as watching someone else do that. 3. As an extension of that thought, I realise talking is an output while listening and thinking is an input. I wish I could talk and think at the same time, but it doesn't happen. Listening and thinking however go hand in hand. So, if I need to evolve, I need to listen and think more. 4. It helps to keep boring conversations short. Negating things or showing interest by asking related questions just fuels people to talk more of the boring stuff. Also, sometimes, one just needs to space out. And you can never space out while talking. 5. My growing concern these days is how less anyone listens. We cut in while others are still speaking, we speak when not spoken to, we don't think about what we are speaking, we borrow others' thoughts and project those as our own. I dislike this in others, so first step is not to let that happen to myself.
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Some music that has been on loop of late.

Ab Mujhe Raat Din...

This came out around the time I was in 12th and was playing on all the channels and radios then. Like any other college song, very nostalgic. I end up thinking of people and places and memories of Wardha while listening to it. Apart from the fact that it's totally my type of song..Slow, soothing, strewn with piano and guitar...

I wonder why no one uses the sound of breeze these days in songs. They used to incorporate that a lot in the 90s rain songs, but then stopped it for some reason. There's nothing more refreshing than the combo of breeze, guitar and light rains..

Dad likes this song a lot too, which is surprising since it's not at all his type.
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Most of our pop music is banal..except Silk Route, Indian Ocean and some of Lucky Ali..Some songs across the border I like. Their Coke Studio is so much better than ours..Makes me want to explore more Paki music. Songs like Mora Sainyya (Khamaj) by Fuzön..

Sounds quite similar to the Begum Akhtar ghazal - Ulti Ho Gayi Sab Tadbeerein...

Coming to Hindi film music, one of my favourites is Ye Parbaton Ke Daayare from the 1968 film Vaasna. Music by Chitragupta, lyrics by Sahir..

Music To My Ears

Many, many old  gems come up while talking music with dad. Like the other day, we were discussing late 40s and early 50s music, and we remembered a beautiful song from Andaz (1949):

Music is by Naushad. Dad says that in the biography, Daastaan-e-Naushad, the writer Shashikant Kinikar writes that Naushad was a versatile cinephile who didn't just touch music, but also assisted filmmaker friends on story, screenplay, dialogues, direction and editing! And he must be good at it since people used to invite him quite often to do non-music affairs in their films. Some of these credits include the behemoths such as Kohinoor (1960), Mughal-e-Azam (1960) and Pakeezah (1972) among others!!!

Jaane Kya Dhundhti Rehti Hain (Shola Aur Shabnam, 1961)

Music by Khayyam. Lyrics by Kaifi Azmi. The song is in the Ghazal, Shayari genre which I don't like much (except select few by Mehndi Ali, Farida Khanum and Begum Akhtar), but I liked this song. A lot. Khayyam spearheaded the Ghazal genre in Hindi film music, and this is a good example of his forte. Raag Pahadi, but I think not a pure Pahadi. He has put some closeby notes in the song, which probably makes it a mishra-Pahadi, but that if anything makes the song even more beautiful and haunting.

Jeet Hi Lenge Baazi Hum Tum (Shola Aur Shabnam, 1961)

An outstanding song. The music..beautiful. Rafi rocks...what a tender, soothing voice. Very melodious.

Kabhi To Milegi, Kahin To Milegi (Aarti, 1962)

Lata's voice in this song is at its pristine best. आवाज़ जैसे खरे चांदी का कोई खनखनाता रुपहला सिक्का हो...Such perfect notes. And what an unconventional tune! It's in Raag Pahaadi. This song exudes vulnerable positivity. Meena Kumari...how can someone look so sensual even when fully clad? She just tilts her head, or lowers her gaze, and the effect is electrifying. And here I was, only today, telling a friend vehemently that I don't have a type. Who am I kidding? Every time I fall for the same kind of woman...Mysterious, vulnerable, expressive eyes, hint of a smile  - these are a few of my favourite things..

Aaj Se Pehle (Chitchor, 1976)

Kya Hua Tera Vaada (Hum Kisise Kum Naheen, 1977)

Adore this song. The picturisation is tapid, but the song touches the heartstrings of every guy who has some understanding of unrequited love. Remember Poornima from 90s? She gave backing vocals to Rafi here. What a raw, sweet voice. And Rafi...he was a surprise choice indeed by RD, because this movie came at a time when Rafi was an outcast, adrift in the flood of Kishore Kumar's idolisation. That's the reason why I feel Rafi must have picturised not a woman while singing this song but the audience who were once his ardent fans...The forgotten promises and the changing times...Trivia: This is the only song for which Rafi won a national award. In time too, coz Rafi would expire only 3 years later.

Dad is completely appalled by music of this era. He hates almost 90% if not more, of the music made from the day RD burst on the scene with Teesri Manzil in 1966. He becomes visibly disgusted with the western influence that RD brought into Hindi film music. My brother is the polar opposite, whose musical awakening started with the covenant of RD's ochestra. He worships RD and laughs at much of the music of 50-60s. I don't have any such qualms and embrace everything. They become incredulous regarding my choice, because just moments ago we would be discussing something where our choices are in complete unison. As we say in Ecology, they are specialists who are much specific in their musical palate, whereas me much less so, and hence a generalist (not to be confused with populist).

Ankhiyon Ke Jharokhon Se (Ankhiyon Ke Jharokhon Se, 1978)

Beautiful, gentle, refreshingly different song. The rhythm is unique. With many songs you can guess what came first, the lyrics or the music. With some the fit is so tight that it's difficult to imagine what preceded what. Music by Ravindra Jain. From Raag Brindavani Sarang. Some other songs from this raag are Humein To Loot Liya Milke Husnwaalon Ne (Al Hilal, 1958..music by the lesser known Bulo C. Rani), Tere Pyaar Ka Aasra Chaahta Hoon (Dhool Ka Phool, 1959..music by the Goan Dutta Naik, or popularly known as N. Dutta), Mere Mehboob Mein Kya Nahin (Mere Mehboob, 1963..Lata-Asha combo!), Chhadi Re Chhadi Kaise Gale Mein Padi (Mausam, 1975..the only Madan Mohan-Gulzar combo I am aware of).

Suniye, Kahiye (Baton Baton Mein, 1979)

Hothon Se Chhoo Lo Tum (Prem Geet, 1981)

This was an oft-sung, oft-heard song to the extent that it had become boring. And then it disappeared all of a sudden. No one ever talks about it anymore.

Mera Kuchh Saamaan (Ijaazat, 1987)

This is the famous song which when Gulzar took to RD, RD exclaimed, 'why have you brought this news cutting?!' Raju Bharatan says, that no one could imagine that such a song could be put to music, and that if anyone could, it was to be RD.

Whenever people talk about this song, you get to hear about Asha. But some songs belong to music directors over and above everyone else, and this is one such song. A gem..

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You usually find that a hit director and music director team comes together again and again, to a level when soundtracks of successive films sound similar. Case in point: RK - Shankar Jaikishan. Navketan - SD. Burman. Chetan Anand - Madan Mohan. Nasir Hussain - RD. But if you look at Yash Chopra's filmography and the music in his films, you will notice a strikingly lateral choice of music directors. Out of 22 movies he directed, his choice of music directors included N. Dutta (twice), Ravi (twice), Salil Choudhury, Laxmikant Pyarelal, RD (twice), Khayyam (twice), Rajesh Roshan, Hridaynath Mangeshkar, Uttam Singh, Madan Mohan and A. R. Rahman. The only music directors he repeated more than twice were Shiv-Hari - a staggering seven times, which comprises of 1/3rd of his career as a director. Many of these were not popular names at all. But the music they gave was top notch!

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Kisi Shaayar Ki Ghazal - Dream Girl (1977)

Liking for this song is enough to be expelled from any music aficionado club. I find it easy, nothing more, nothing less. It looks a tad tacky in colour, but in Black n White, this song was no less than a fairy tale. In those times I used to spend much of my time on figuring out questions my brain couldn't fathom. Such as how do actors change into new clothes so quickly! I tried it many times at home, sometimes changing the whole wardrobe, sometimes wearing three-four shirts and trousers over one another, just to check how much time I require to get into a complete new set of clothes, but to my chagrin it was always more than the split second they took on screen. I knew that it had to be a trick, but couldn't figure it out. I asked mom and dad a lot about how they do that, and they sincerely tried to answer about the shots and cuts and other technicalities, but I didn't understand it, because for me, each movie was taken as a single shot, from start to finish.

Coming from that mindset, this song was an utter mystery because the song is filled with weird special effects. Dharmendra walking on Hema Malini's flowing upper body clothing. It was crazy. I just went mad with curiosity and later with frustration at my inability to crack the filming technique.

But the reason why I think this song is set so resolutely in my memory is coz this is the the first song I remember watching on TV. We didn't have a television while growing up, so my friend Shashank's place was a godsend. I had a pet place in their TV room, just close to the door leading to the kitchen. There was a tall, thin bed prepared by putting a few bedsheets and duvets over three metallic grain containers.

The movie would start on Saturday and Sunday in the early evenings. Sushama kaku would be in the kitchen. Pappu mama would be in the front yard. Aaji would be doing puja. And Shashank, Mithila and I would be in the TV room.

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Dad's love for music was much subdued and deep, my brother's more forceful and strong, and both left quite an impression. I believe I learnt to love music from dad, and to perform it from Aks. There are so many songs I heard dad sing at home and play on mandolin...and so many I saw Aks perform in his college orchestra.

I followed Aks to all his orchestras and heard him sing, and later on sung some of these songs myself in my college dos, and we tend to bond a lot over them:

Jaan-e-Jaan - Jawani Diwani (1972)

Neele Neele Ambar Par - Kalakaar (1982)

Ai Kaash Ke Hum - Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa (1994)

Dad is a much-in-demand singer among family and friends. Everyone is stuck on their own favourites of his which he must have sung a lot when he was younger:

Ye Raat Ye Chaandni Phir Kahaan (Jaal, 1952)

and..

Kisiki Muskuraahaton Pe Ho Nisaar (Anari, 1959)

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Time to introduce you to the song that had become a family anthem of sorts, especially during and around our yearly Kerala visits. From a movie called Darshan (1967), made in then East Pakistan. I don't know how someone got hold of this song, but my hunch is that some Malayali family friend who travelled to mid-East in late 70s-early 80s must have got hold of it, brought it back with him, and then someone in Danagram must have heard it, and then that's how we got to hear it. It's one of the earliest memories I have of Kerala, and is still reminiscent of mango and coconut trees, the old house,the old wooden treasure full of Amar Chitra Katha, the cultural programmes in the evening, the dinner by the lanterns, the careless abandon, love and trust with which all four of us spent time with each other and with other brothers, sisters, aunts and grandpa. There was so much love and joy...

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I had a peculiar habit throughout my adolescence. I would put on music in full volume while having lunch before leaving for school and college. That was one time when no one used to be at home, and hence my music time. The home in Gopuri was such that I didn't have to worry about noise levels since the green fence insulated everything. The music chosen was decided completely randomly. So some days it was the 90s Hindi film music which I really liked, but most of the time it would be old music or Indian classical music since that's what we had most in our collection, and sometimes it was even Malayalam and Tamil music. Mom had brought a sizeable collection to Wardha from Danagram. The odd times when mom and dad would be at home at this time of the day, it was perplexing for them to see and hear me listening to something that I am not really expected to listen to. I did not especially liked this music or sometimes didn't even understand it, owing to the era, style or language, but I couldn't really change my own rules. There was in fact just one rule. Listen to all the cassettes one by one. The reason was very childish but logical :) I knew that some cassettes are heard more often than other. So the cassettes that are not heard had to feel left out and ignored and that when all of us slept in the night, and when all the 'non-living' objects came to life, the ones that are ignored must be feeling shitty when they heard the popular ones bragging. So my project and responsibility in life at that point was to make all music cassettes feel wanted. This began as early as middle school I think. This sounds funny, but that's how listening to everything, even things you didn't understand and appreciate, began. Later of course, the emotional and equality part of the reasoning disappeared, but by that time I was already hooked onto these different styles of music. This democratic style of listening to music helped me to not just broaden my taste and ear for different styles of music, but also made me more open to listen to anything without pre-conceived notion.

Music From The Heart

Once in a while comes a movie which has an unattractive, cryptic title and looks utterly desolate and depressing, but is about music and that keeps casually tugging at your sleeves to give it your time of the day, that you eventually melt and relent. Two hours later when you come out, you realise it has been a fascinating experience. The movie doesn't have a plot to sustain for two hours, but the director, the lead actor and most of all the music manage to hold your attention all the while. I was completely drawn in, and enjoyed Inside Llewyn Davis.

One of my favourite genre of music is Irish and English Folk which is what features predominantly in the soundtrack. Reminded me of my childhood when my brothers and I would spend watching countless re-runs of Disney cartoons like Robin Hood which were full of Folk music of the isles.

Listen to Oscar Isaac singing 'The Death of Queen Jane'. One sad, lilting song. It's a treat to watch Isaac sing this in the theatre.

500 miles features on the soundtrack too. A slightly faster version with amazing harmonies by the three singers. This is a more commercial version as compared to the original 1961 recording by The Journeymen. Reminds you of a Hindi song, doesn't it? :)

Joie De Vivre

Saying that death is the essentiality is an utterly meaningless account of life. The essence of life is how you lived it, not how it culminates. Passion, fervour, intensity, zest, ecstasy. I want to associate these words with my life. Don't want to resort to numbness. I have eternity to be detached and indifferent. After death. Not now.
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The pinnacle of success and the crushing ignominious anonymity. That's the life of an artiste. These two videos triggered immediate sadness and smiles.

C. Ramchandra...People know him for his music, but he sang a lot of his songs. It's well known that he has had classical training, but for me that wasn't so obvious. He always sounded tentative. But listen to him in this video (which was 70s or early 80s) and the training is pretty obvious! Liked his voice in this youtube video much better than the original songs. The man has the chops even in his old age. Listen to the कणस्वर…the slight touch of a स्वर closeby to embellish the main स्वर...was simply amazed by his effortlessness and solid notes. And of course, his honesty.

This one is reminiscing the old times, revisiting भूले बिसरे गीत and a short and sweet back-and-forth banter between two oldies.

Kyon

My cover version of Kyon..

Youtube

Kyon from Barfi has been a favourite since it came out in September 2012. It is brilliantly picturised, acted and orchestrated, but best are the lyrics. Love Neelesh Misra. I believe he debuted with Jaadu Hai Nasha Hai and Chalo Tumko Lekar Chalen from Jism (2003), and has been writing some simple but meaningful lyrics ever since with songs such as Maine Dil Se Kaha (Rog 2005), Lamha Lamha (Gangster 2006), Khwahinshon Se (Holiday 2006), Abhi Kuchh Dinon Se (Dil To Bachcha Hai Ji), and occasional candyfloss numbers like Bolo Na Tum Zara (Fight Club 2006).

Lyrics and music rarely act synergistically these days, don't you think? Sometimes lyrics are powerful and the music ordinary, and sometimes the vice versa is true. And sometimes even when both are good, one of them is more overpowering, shadowing the other.

This song however, felt like a team effort between a lyricist, music director and singers. This is Pritam's best album since Life..In A Metro (2007). Sunidhi rarely sings low notes these days, so I liked it how Pritam did a division of labour here, giving the lower notes and the stanza to Sunidhi, and the upper notes of the stanza and the beginning verse to Papon. Had never heard of Papon, let alone his music, and his raspy voice is unique.

PS. Coming back to the lyrics, the first few lines read as if thy are written by Swanand Kirkire with words like 'baanware', 'almast', 'sirphire' 'luke huye'..these are all trademark Swanand Kirkire words. Can it be coincidence that he wrote most of the other songs in the soundtrack? The later lines however, are unlike SK's. 'Lafz', 'harf', I haven't heard these in SK's songs.

Lost and Found

Every generation has to bear a curse.

Our generation was fortunate enough to have everything going for us. We had good education, have good work, good money. We are well travelled. We have resources at our fingertips. We have means to get most of the things we want.

The curse is lack of respite. 
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Even with a fast pace of life, there are some things which have the power to bring everything to a halt. A sudden standstill. Like memories. Memories of childhood. Of Aai and Achcha. Of Akash, Bai and Pitaji. Of Gopuri. Of Shanu and Shweta. Of friends. Of Kerala.

Those memories are not always happy ones, but the sieve of time has filtered out all positive and negative connotations attached to them. Some memories bring smiles. In most cases however, there's absolutely no emotion attached. Just neutrality. As if it the story of someone else's life.
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We didn't have a television while growing up. I watched movies in theatre or on the office VCR, always in the cosy company of family and friends. Everyone in my family has been a movie buff. Even my grandparents. I remember countless re-runs of Anand, Jaagte Raho, Shree 420, Boot Polish, Jagriti, Disney Cartoons on the office TV. I don't remember much of what I thought of these movies. All I remember is the AV room cum library. The musty smell of the pillows and rajais. The onslaught of mosquitoes. The Good Knight-Kachhuachhaap-smoke of half burnt green neem leaves combo to drive the mosquitoes away.

And the warm glow of the flickering screen in the quiet darkness of the room where the five of us would huddle together. For me that's still the true semblance of a family.
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The movie 'Anand' was a staple. The highlight of the movie was always the song Kahin Door Jab (despite everyone ridiculing Mukesh's voice). I guess I must have realised even then that there was some magic happening there on screen. Those 5 minutes where Rajesh Khanna (sans his herogiri) reveals himself before us made a lifelong impact. It struck a chord. The song is one of the best examples of revealing your deepest self to the world, done so in privacy and solitude of one's own company. There is no crude, coarse desperation in that sadness. If anything, it comes forth in a simple display of words, melody and acting, that misery can be poised and elegant.
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My day ends today with this song in the background, my nose pressed against the glass pane of my room looking out on the Paris skyline, and the blue night beam of Eiffel in close grasp. Everything together reminds me once again how important it is to live every single moment, whether happy or sad, and that nothing is worth sacrificing little bits of time for yourself.

Mujhko Tum Jo Mile

Youtube link

World on Fire by Sarah McLachlan

You gotta watch it...

Youtube

Toch Chandrama Nabhat

Recorded recently...

Youtube