The reminder that everything has an expiry date has been on the mind for some time now. The languidly floating thought is that you don't even have to die for things to end. Everything is ending every day. Relationships, friendships, jobs, possessions, even people...every little thing seems transient. What will you hold and how much will you hold and for how long and to what end? You realise you only have a pinch of a power to keep things, people and relationships intact and alive. I struggled, and am still struggling with how ephemeral life is. It is a struggle where you feel you will only lose.
But if this thought can bring instability, it also has the power to bring immediacy and appreciation to what you have. It can bring that much-needed whiff of caffeine to jolt you out of the slumber of the 'forever'. While you may lose something or someone one day, today is not that day, right now is not that time. The fact that you have things and people right now somehow makes it alright. You start noticing more, feeling more, giving more, and eventually every nerve ending wriggles its tentacles and captures more. The eyes may water. The stomach will definitely do a somersault. The heart will pump. The pulse will thump. Faster than before. At the most mundane things. And you feel more alive than ever before.
3 comments:
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Such a roller coaster of emotions. While everything seems to end every day, something new also starts every day....Transiency is the only constant...
You give even when you are struggling is the ultimate sign of being ALIVE and PRESENT. Loads of love to you dear friend.
"The fact that you have things and people right now somehow makes it alright. You start noticing more, feeling more, giving more, and eventually, every nerve ending wriggles its tentacles and captures more."
This is not just a profound realization, it is hopeful and optimistic. Just like you.
It's my favourite part of your post, apart from the title, of course, which I love. Write more.
--S
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