All I can think of these days is about food and sleep. More so about sleep than about food. Even in my sleep, I dream about sleeping...

The Clothes Parade...

At what age do they start making fun of you if you don't have the right clothes on? Anyway, I must be long past it.

Seriously we need to come out of this fucking biz town mentality and look hard in the mirror...dressed to thrill eh? Everyone seems to be so bothered about the way they dress...And mind you, not bothered doesn't mean good bye to cleanliness or smartly dressed...it just means little less time behaving like painted mannequins...

Trends and rules...in clothes? You must be kidding me...One has to be dressed in a certain way...the right way...why? Who decides? What right clothes? Let me not even ask Zen-ical questions like what's right...c'mon man, get a breather, get a life...there are more important things to think about...

Otherwise it becomes a mere dress parade of cheap attitudes accessorized by expensive brands...

The Memory Keeper's Post

We are talking, laughing, having great fun in general, and then you just decide to walk off...

You say you remembered something, some important thing to do but I doubt whether it’s really that or it’s you mutely asking me to ask you to stay. All my pleas of “just 5 minutes more” fall on deaf ears. Before leaving, you turn, give a quick smile and look at me once again. To see whether I’ve given up. If I have, there’s nothing to wait for anymore, but if I haven’t, then there is a chance that you will get to listen to some more persuasive pleading. And that, I think you just adore.

So sometimes, I don’t say anything, coz I know that the only way to make you stay is to play it cool. In expecting me to say something, you sometimes stay for even longer than intended, and that I adore.

Then again, sometimes, I beg you to stay just so that you’ll leave. I keep watching you until you disappear round the corner, and every step you take, every move you make, reminds me of things from the past. Your memories are sometimes fonder than your actual presence.

Do you feel that too? About me? Maybe I’ll ask this to you tomorrow. I’m not so sure how you will react. It’s just one of those hazy wayward thoughts occupying my mind. Today is the closest I came to asking you about it. But I ducked at the last moment coz this brain of mine went into a cerebral overdrive, I was a bit freaked out when I thought about the aftermaths.

Not today. Maybe tomorrow.

Will I hate it if you thought the same too? I don’t know. Maybe. If someone prefers my memories over me, I must be getting more and more uninteresting with every passing day.

I won't ask you that question after all.

It's a series of moments, this life. Of split seconds. And I have been spending them as if I have too many of them...I have been a spendthrift...I wanna live in this moment, without thinking about the moment I just left, and the moment that is to come. Too long has been spent in planning about what is to come. Too long has been spent in doing things to set things right for the mistakes committed in the past. Too long spent in being responsible. Too long has been spent in not living in the moment. I became a pawn in my own game. Just one life...I wanna live it the way I wanna live.

You know what I feel right now? I feel, I have to steal every possible moment of this life and savour it, feel it, live it. You know what I wanna do right now? I wanna do things that make me myself. That give me my identity. That make me a unique person. So what if everyone thinks that's stupidity? Why is everyone so afraid to be who they are? To do what they want? Coz it would mean, they wouldn't fit in? Who cares? My difference with the rest of the world is what makes me unique. And I am not gonna curb it and try to fit in. I will be labelled a rebel. Big deal...I am beyond labels. I am A...nothing else.

You know what I want to do right now? I want to feel alive by running in the rain, raindrops beating against my body. I want to jump from a clifftop into the raging sea and swim to the shore, to feel afraid, and to overcome the fear of feeling afraid. I want to sleep on the beach on a moonless night and wake up feeling deliriously happy. I wanna be loud and careless, singing at the top of the world with not a care. The wind in my ears and hair, a bike full of fuel and a mind full of attitude on a road trip...that's what I wanna do...And several such things...

I wanna do everything that my body desires and my mind minds just coz it would mean venturing into the unknown. At least once.

I am a free spirit and I want to remain that way.

As Tennyson says, That which we are, we are...

For everything, there's a trade-off.