The nightmare these days is that the work I’ve been doing for last couple of years is going to get destroyed in a fire or I'll loose it coz of hard disc failure of my computer. Forget about finishing in time, it just means, I will go degree-less. Just the thought freaks me out.
I am paranoid about it…So, I 've stopped leaving the laptop in lab overnight and have been copying the whole thesis folder in three different places every day. Every single day! The only worry is all the three drives don’t collapse or get corrupted simultaneously. The chances are really low, everyone says. I still think prevention is better…I guess I should create one more folder...I mean, I'm anyway copying it to three different places, why not four?
I am beginning to understand what is meant when we sarcastically tell someone, ‘you’re getting old’…I think I’m becoming too cautious…but you see it's just common sense/fear of losing 4 years’ work...nothing’s worth losing that much time and work.
Have been working like a maniac and got some work done which has been pending for months…it feels good. Have been so so lazy in doing part of the data analysis, especially the data entry part…I am so bored, I thought I will advertise a paid position for a needy MS/ME fellow here and all they’ll have to do is entering my data but then it seemed even more risky…to let them handle the data sheets…told myself, “this is like the materialization of all the sweat on all the week-days and weekends you spent making it out with your hymenopteran girls, observing them doing unspeakable things…so don’t slight it by such antics at the last minute. "
Gotta sleep now. This is the earliest in months. Starting observations again, and I’m absolutely thrilled. I have been following this particular nest for 7 months now, just to get to know the ages of all the animals...so many times felt like throwing this nest away…the unknown age individuals just wouldn’t leave or die…but the patience has finally paid off…may the dead ones’ souls rest in peace…and hope to keep up my appointment with the alive ones at 8 tomorrow morning!
Good night!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Pondicherry, especially the university, elicits extreme responses in people. Some people loved their time there. Some are indifferent. And few hated it. There are various reasons for being indifferent or hating it, they say. They said it wasn't good enough, there were not enough opportunities, professors were biased, they were not at all encouraging, if anything, they tried to scare the students away, killed the students' spirits, blah, blah, blah...it's a big blah...no doubt all that happened. But it made all of us into tough cookies, didn't it? Thank god, we were not sheltered for 2 years, otherwise after coming into the open, we would not be familiar with realities of the outside world.
Man, just think about it! Given the environment, the people, the circumstances, everyone, each one of us is granted with two choices - to whine or to turn the situation in our favour. Given all the adversities, will you try to be a winner or just a whiney loser? Why not try to turn the tables? It just takes a try...you may not succeed, but at least you would have tried.
Plus, how can you entirely blame the environment and people? Because given more or less the same conditions, some succeeded, whereas you didn't! By saying that the blame lies somewhere else, are you trying to hide your own inconsistencies? Not just that...you are fucking taking away others' success from them by saying favouritism, bias, or whatever.
So come on losers, try to catch up...that is if you get time from your whining!
After reaching three hours prior to the take-off and after umpteen assurances at the security about my backpack and poster container (which looked like a miniature canon) weights and volumes which I was to carry as cabin luggage, I was sure that everything was in place and the journey would be without any problems. I had nothing much to worry and I kept repeating to myself that though the beginning of the day resembled Murphy’s law where he very prudently states, “if things can go wrong, they will”, what’s there to worry about once one reaches the airport…
The morning began at 10 in the night the previous day. I was in turmoil whether I should sleep or not. If I would have slept, there were absolutely no chances of getting up on time…at 4 in the morning. Such a ghastly hour to begin the day. Having the absolute benefit of knowing myself well, I was sure that the deep foray with Morpheus into the unknown would not be interrupted by anything, even by the most alluring day dream I kept having for last 26 years, namely the dream of travelling...
You see, ever since I remember, I was fascinated with maps, atlases, rivers, mountains, oceans…geography was my most favourite subject and I was absolutely awesome at it…and I don’t mean just the banal quiz game of countries and their capitals. I would not remember even the most recent historical fact, but ask me about minutest details about geography and I’ll be up and reciting them happily in the middle of the night …what’re Ganga and Brahmaputra called in Bangladesh before and after meeting, or which 2 rivers surrounded Mesopotamia or how many countries does Danube pass through or the longest mountain range, or how biggest lake in the world is actually called a sea…fortunately, geography and history are closely linked and sometimes it helped me scraping marks in history, answering questions like why Mesopotamia was called so and some such unusually placed interesting questions in history papers.
Point being, even this deep a love would have to forego if I slept.
So I didn’t. I finished the packing, watched some random movie, took bath, tidied the room, and got ready by 5:30. From the hostel to the bus stop is not a walkable distance and I’d convinced one of my friends to drop me. I tried her number. It was switched off!!! Hmm…a bit freaky as I was almost sure there would be no autos on the roads so early in the morning…I went on the main road to get an auto, but the roads were absolutely deserted. Tried calling her again, it was still switched off. I tried a common friend’s number who lives in the same hostel…this number was switched off too! By this time, I was freaking out…I went to this friend’s hostel, argued with the security…the damn fellow wouldn’t let me in (it’s open to guys between 6 AM to 10 PM…hah!)…anyway, thankfully, I remembered this common friend’s room number, convinced the security that if he is not allowing me to enter, the least he can do is go in himself and knock on her room door…
For 5 minutes, nothing happened…everyone here sleeps like a log…this is what happens if you watch movies till 2 in the morning…anyway, finally this common friend awoke, came out, I asked her to go and break into my escort’s room…5 minutes of disturbing and the longest silence again, after which the escort comes out…”it’s not 6 yet, we decided on 6”…I cursed her mentally for all the hyperventilating moments and told her to come to my room…
The new airport is not bad at all…it’s just tad too far…the bus ride was mostly accompanied with morning sun on face and a nice refreshing slumber...
Airports (or railway stations for that matter, but especially airports), they fascinate me…I am an absent-minded person and end up paying very little attention to what’s happening around me…except on airports! When I am on an airport, I transform into an absolutely alert and inquisitive fellow…I watch and observe people around me…I make use of their faces, behavioural patterns, gestures and personalities and mentally project my own imaginary characters onto them, concocting their backgrounds, fabricating their accounts and narratives…
After a round of this, I was already cursing myself to be there so early…8 in the morning and they should have announced the check-in. Just as I was thinking this, they announced that there was a technical glitch in the whole clearance…believe the authorities to be as vague as possible…anyway, I doze off…after an uneventful, dreamless doze, I woke up to another announcement for check-in of my flight...
An hour in that damn line, my turn comes and I was told that the technical glitch they were referring to had something to do with the computers, and since nothing was responding, they had to process everything manually…great!!! Reminded them once again about the connecting flight from Dubai, and headed toward immigration...
I have Tu Muskura from Yuvvraaj on repeat mode for the whole day…can’t seem to get enough of it…Alka in her best form…so is Gulzar, simple but soulful…and Rahman, this is a very different Rahman…never heard a western classical melody of this kind from him…
More I hear this song, the more restless I become…Have you ever spent sleepless nights, coz something haunted you? Tonight’s fate was sealed the moment I heard this song…
Violin…How could I not touch it for so long? I have to start again…from scratch if be so…
Tu muskura jahaan bhi hai tu muskura… Tu dhoop ki tarah badan ko chhoo zara… Shareer si ye muskurahaten teri, Badan me sunti hun main aahaten teri, Labon pe aake chhu de apne lab zara, Tu Muskura...
