Saturday, October 11, 2008

Bunking the class on some social reform in early 20th century, I’m lying on my bed, the laptop on my belly, about to start typing. Instead of starting to strike the keypad, I’m taken again to those 3 wonderful weeks. Amazing time…


But this post is not about it.


This post is about blogging. Problems I faced while blogging.

First prob - putting what you experience into exact words and communicating it to others. Not mere communicating but making them a part of the whole thing. Just the other day, with P, and some time back with J, was talking about how the information disseminates between two people. You felt something, and you needed to express it, and you did, but in the process, either for your lack of abilities to articulate or the different temperament of the listener, or coz of both of these, it doesn’t hold the same meaning to her/him. So, there’s a growing urge to be more and more articulative, and in a factual but interesting way. It’s an art and only selective few possess it. I’m clearly not one of them, but I’m determined to possess it some day.


Second prob – and I don’t know whether it’s a unique problem with me, but how blogging becomes an obsession after a time and how you just long to come back to it and chronicle every single nugget of interesting thing happened/happening in your life. The obsession comes to such a degree where even when that interesting event is happening, you are thinking about how to record it. Now I am sure, all of you will agree that the most enjoyable things are done just for the complete joy factor and not with some ulterior motive. If I’m thinking all the time about accounting what happened and how it happened, it’s no more interesting to me. It kinda becomes a job. Moreover, you are no longer in the moment, or maybe you are but just partly. It’s exactly what people call living in future, and that was killing the freaking joy. I was bothered about it. That’s the reason why I had stopped writing completely in between. I would have preferred to do both simultaneously, experience as well as write about it, but it was a choice between the two, and I chose the former one. I was bugged about it and didn’t know what to do about it, and I tried it discussing it with dad and O, but dad doesn’t blog and O, I guess never encountered it. So I thought of it as a rare disease with no cure, and left it at that.


Thankfully, over time - I don’t have a clue as to how it happened - it just happened that I could combine both! If at all someone has encountered it and wishes to ask me how I achieved it, I don’t know. The reason which possibly may have affected it is this: blog traffic is no longer a concern. It was a big issue, but no more. If anything, fewer the better, as this place is primarily for me, not for networking. The moment I started writing for myself, it didn’t matter whether someone read it or not (sorry if you follow my blog diligently). As soon as that happened, the need for making yourself to maintain a steady flow of new entries stopped too. So both the problems were gone. Since there was no writing for others, there was no fumbling for right words to express and make it interesting at the same time. I am still searching for that ability of not exhausting the substance and sensibility while communicating, but I don’t pursue that quest on this blog. That’s a separate project and can be achieved in scientific writings and presentations that I so often keep doing these days.


Having said all that, even before embarking on the plane to Dubai, I knew that I will write about it here. But that is only out of sheer love of writing, and not for the greed of increasing my site meter number. I don’t care about that anymore.

9 comments:

laughingwolf said...

glad you sorted that out, if only cerebrally...

i post stuff i find interesting on the net, just to share

sometimes no one leaves a comment, and i don't really care

i do like a little feedback on my own writings, though, just to see if it's worthwhile

it seems to be ;)

Anonymous said...

i love this entry. exactly what i feel sometimes! blogging for ourselves but not for others. thanks, have a great day.
-iylinot.

Neeta said...

Hello A,
Thanks for your comment on my blog, glad you enjoyed the post....
And I'm very pleased to have discovered yours :-)
I'll take my time going through it all.....but already like your authenticity a great deal....
So true what you say - as even though I appreciate comments, feedback and encouragement, I blog mainly for my love of sharing and expressing too....

A said...

@ Laughingwolf: I sorted it out, yeah. And I'll remember about the feedback stuff :)

@ Iylinot: Wow! Thanks!

@ Neeta: Sure...Thanks too!

Jahnavi said...

dude, the cover is blown and i was right! that "i dont care who thinks what" and "i write only for myself" attitudes were only a front. u did write for others. hehehehehe... :D

A said...

@ Jahnavi: :) (an indulgent smile) I'm misunderstood...However, I prefer it to people knowing every little detail...So y'know, I won't bother explaining!

sulz said...

of course you should blog for yourself first! if you didn't, blogging will be a chore at some point, no matter how many enthusiastic readers you have.

i have that similar problem of not being to be as articulate as i'd like to be. that's part of the reason i blog - i want to be articulate, to be able to express myself in the way i'd like to.

and yes, i always find things in my life to blog about as they happen right at that moment too. :P it's good to me because that way all negative events has their positive purpose, blogging-wise! as for positive things to blog about, that's icing on the cake then!

Radagast said...

I think the pressure to produce new ideas, written, in this case, is illusory - it's something that one places upon oneself. Obviously, if one is sponsored, then one's sponsors will want a steady stream of ideas, in order to ensure good exposure of whatever commodity it is that they're touting on one's blog.

If one is struggling for ideas, one will begin to feel pressured: one will be failing to meet a commitment. Speaking personally, I've no idea why I started my blog - as a place to record my exchanges with the MHRA, perhaps. Now it's just somewhere to set down random thoughts.

Nobody's going to sponsor me, anyway, because they won't want to be associated with my activism, I doubt!

Anyway, one may only place pressure on oneself, irrespective of how hard others might try. That's what I think, anyway.

Matt

A said...

@ Sulz: We are in the same boat as far as desire to articulate well is concerned.

@ Radagast: My point was even if one places pressure on oneself to write, it's not an illusion. One can very easily get addicted to blog traffic and start playing to the gallery. It happens and it's real!