But this post is not about it.
This post is about blogging. Problems I faced while blogging.
First prob - putting what you experience into exact words and communicating it to others. Not mere communicating but making them a part of the whole thing. Just the other day, with P, and some time back with J, was talking about how the information disseminates between two people. You felt something, and you needed to express it, and you did, but in the process, either for your lack of abilities to articulate or the different temperament of the listener, or coz of both of these, it doesn’t hold the same meaning to her/him. So, there’s a growing urge to be more and more articulative, and in a factual but interesting way. It’s an art and only selective few possess it. I’m clearly not one of them, but I’m determined to possess it some day.
Second prob – and I don’t know whether it’s a unique problem with me, but how blogging becomes an obsession after a time and how you just long to come back to it and chronicle every single nugget of interesting thing happened/happening in your life. The obsession comes to such a degree where even when that interesting event is happening, you are thinking about how to record it. Now I am sure, all of you will agree that the most enjoyable things are done just for the complete joy factor and not with some ulterior motive. If I’m thinking all the time about accounting what happened and how it happened, it’s no more interesting to me. It kinda becomes a job. Moreover, you are no longer in the moment, or maybe you are but just partly. It’s exactly what people call living in future, and that was killing the freaking joy. I was bothered about it. That’s the reason why I had stopped writing completely in between. I would have preferred to do both simultaneously, experience as well as write about it, but it was a choice between the two, and I chose the former one. I was bugged about it and didn’t know what to do about it, and I tried it discussing it with dad and O, but dad doesn’t blog and O, I guess never encountered it. So I thought of it as a rare disease with no cure, and left it at that.
Thankfully, over time - I don’t have a clue as to how it happened - it just happened that I could combine both! If at all someone has encountered it and wishes to ask me how I achieved it, I don’t know. The reason which possibly may have affected it is this: blog traffic is no longer a concern. It was a big issue, but no more. If anything, fewer the better, as this place is primarily for me, not for networking. The moment I started writing for myself, it didn’t matter whether someone read it or not (sorry if you follow my blog diligently). As soon as that happened, the need for making yourself to maintain a steady flow of new entries stopped too. So both the problems were gone. Since there was no writing for others, there was no fumbling for right words to express and make it interesting at the same time. I am still searching for that ability of not exhausting the substance and sensibility while communicating, but I don’t pursue that quest on this blog. That’s a separate project and can be achieved in scientific writings and presentations that I so often keep doing these days.
Having said all that, even before embarking on the plane to